Dog Poop!

I spent my afternoon removing our family pets land mines from our lawn.

I got to thinking, as I almost stepped on one while scooping one up, that maybe this is how someone came up with military land mines. No real rhyme or reason to how they're laid down. Just some guy who followed his dog around and put X's down in what ever pattern they were left.

Then I thought perhaps this was the start of all good soldiers military training. Avoid the bio hazard land mines your family pet left for you. Think about it. You're clearing the lawn and  POW! You step in one you swear wasn't there when you looked a minute ago. You learn to pay more attention to where you're planting you feet.

Then I had another thought. Maybe all these dogs have had their strategic military dog training from other dogs. In the beginning she only crapped in one place, but now they're laid out  as to where you can't miss stepping on one. I think she watches you and when you manage to miss stepping on them she plants the next one in your safety path you found. Have you ever seem their face when you clean it all up. Isn't the first thing they do is go take a large crap on the newly cleaned lawn? Isn't it?

Then I noticed by the time I was done I had taken 9 heavily laden shovelfuls to the garbage can. This 6 1/2-7 month old puppy couldn't have possibly have left that amount of crap in a yard on the dog food we feed her.
It could have been the size of a small child. perhaps this is why she is SOOO friendly to the neighborhood people. Perhaps she's luring them in with the sweet puppy playfulness and then when a small one gets close enough, she gobbles the little buggers up! That would definitely explain the large amount of piles in the yard! Yes she is a larger dog, but not that large!

Maybe other dog are paying her to dispose of their crap in our yard/ It would be just like the nuclear waist dump site wouldn't? Pay them to take it off their hands.... "hey new girl! I'll give you a bone if you let me leave my pile of crap in your yard..."

Then, while you're cleaning up these piles, do ever wonder "What in the hell were you eating?"? Seriously. I swear I saw the Bologna rings in the poop I was cleaning up today. Bits of plastic...etc. What? Is she part goat?

Well, these were the pondering s of my mind this afternoon while cleaning up Dog Poop. I hope you enjoyed them...