Elderly Parental Obligations

   My father hasn't been able to stand since he fell Saturday (9-1-2012). My little brother had left me this following message..
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My Brother:

'Okay, dad had a fall by the bathroom and I had to help him back into his chair. His right big toe has an injury on it, and his right leg was colder than the room and swollen. '

Me:

'How's he going to the bathroom . Why didn't you tell me he can't get into the bathroom now?'

 My Brother:

I thought that was just yesterday he wasn't able, and that he could once he rested up. I didn't know he couldn't today until he said something to you over the phone.


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I can't make him go to a doctor against his will either. I know what you're thinking. I tricked him the last time to get him to go. But at least he could get back into his chair with some effort on my little brothers. 



But the most irritating thing to know is that since he went back to his own home he's gain about 70lbs..... He lost weight while staying at mine.....

4-5- stores and nearly 3-4 hours later I find the VERY LAST beside potty (I swear in the state of Utah cause it a holiday weekend) and finally got it to his house and my brother & i set it up for him. He stubbed his toe during his fall and now my brother needs to keep an eye on his diabetic feet.

But now my brother can't even get him on the toilet next to him because all of a sudden pop can't even stand to pivot to the toilet. 

Today I get a call that he was trying to get him on the pot and he ended up on the floor and he can't get him off the floor. I said "I can't pick him up. Call an ambulance." Which he was glad to hear it cause he wanted to call one. My dad isn't exactly light. He well over 300lbs. And last time he got on a scale it was 322lbs. Four firemen got him into his chair. Told me about a rash I had no idea he had (I refuse to look at my own father naked) on his crotch. and said he needed some DESITIN®. Which I took my little brother up to get some. I drove him back and went back to my own home. I don't know what to do anymore. Pop was refusing help for seniors when I had him. Now my brother has no choice but to call and get help from them whether or not pop likes it.

I am so tired of being a caregiver and having my brother help seems to add more stress cause he calls me for every little thing.  I almost dread answering the phone or getting on FB. When I took care of my grandparents, no one helped me with all this stuff. Not my dad. Happily the doctors set up care for them and my grandfather did. But they weren't refusing all the time.

No wonder between work and my parents causing me stress that I can't keep my thyroid in check.