Welcome to 2012! ~ Happy New Year!

Eat drink and be Merry!
And before I get drunk, naked and thrown in jail, lose my damn  phone and computer...

Happy  New Years!

Without Prompting... My ASS!

So being a Q.A., and my job finally wanting to take cleaning seriously, I was taking advantage of it and having people clean up stuff that has been driving me crazy for a long time. Little by little it's starting to get to a decent level... SO, the next morning that pom-pass butt head, who I still can't believe got promoted at all, was saying how after posting the pictures of how thing look before and how they should look after that the people I had cleaning up stuff did it with out prompting from him. Well no shit Sherlock! It was prompting from me!  got no credit and he's telling everyone that it's because of his how it should look pictures on the wall. Will I ever get credit for anything?!  No one in there has cleaned anything unless I asked them too with the exception of the reall basic stuff so they could look busy with out being busy.

Little Green Monster

So the layoffs at work came and went. I had gotten someone a job and they were laid off. In all her talk she said she didn't care, didn't like the job, and couldn't wait to get a different one. So I talk to her and realize that she's a bit more pist off than she wanted me to know. Then i heard from other co-workers, that she was really pist off. I mean really really pist off! And the way it's starting to look. She's more pist off that I was kept and she wasn't. She said I was going to be My bosses little Bitch yesterday. Can we say bitter? If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't have had a job in the first place. She wasn't able to get one on her own for all her talk. She kept telling me that all these people were going to get her in a job. Then she had to ask me for one. I was the only one that came through, and she's being a bitch cause she was laid off and I wasn't. I've survived 2 layoffs at this company some how. I don't even know how I have. Maybe because I don't sneak off for extra smoke breaks... humm... But further more, how does she dare be such a bitch about it to me and behind my back? I warned her it was a seasonal job. I at least got her employed for 6 months. But now she's being an ass to me and about me behind my back. Because she was laid off and I was kept. What did she expect? My boss to let me go and keep her? I didn't see that happening. He didn't seem to like her for some reason either. She couldn't even run the spell checker like she was asked or re-read to make sure what the spell checker referred her to was the correct word. She dogged the scale checks for most of the time she was on night shift I just found out and she apparently did everything half assed and then expected to be kept. I keep finding more and more shit I have to fix. She has no right to be pist at me. I at least tried to help her. And I wasn't a bitch about it.

The great Cherry Pie Massacre

My first pie crust from  scratch. It tasted good, but now i need to work on flakiness and prettiness.

The Carrot Cake I made for my birthday  this year.

All Photos are Copyright of : Tashee Photography. UN-AUTHORIZED REPRODUCTION, IN WHOLE OR IN PART, IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED!

Happy Holidays!

All Photos are Copyright of : Tashee Photography. UN-AUTHORIZED REPRODUCTION, IN WHOLE OR IN PART, IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED!

Our Chocolate Company isn't so sweet after all.....

     So I work for a chocolate company. They laid everyone off last night and this morning on the two shifts at our company. Yup! They laid off nearly everyone the last working day before Christmas. 

No. I was not one of them, but still... That is pretty low.  Couldn't they at least wait till after the new year... ?
One off the new "big bosses" totally botched an order we were doing for a major company back east. I being a Q.A. had refused to let the chocolate pass for shipping. And at first they agreed. All but the new big boss. He then convinced all the big bosses, including mine, that it had to go or it we  would pay a big fine. Next thing I'm hearing was... "It's not that bad. It doesn't taste chalky to me." Guess what? The company they sent it to, agreed with me. It was chalky, the color was faded, it didn't taste very minty..... We lost any ground we had gained with this company.... And screwed the company as far as I'm concerned. But I was out ruled, out numbered, and over ruled about it. Now, that new big boss doesn't take responsibility for what he did. He says stuff like "We don't want another screw up like that last order." Like, WE, the employees did it or something. That HE had nothing to do with it. When in reality, it was ALL him! I tried. I tried to go to the other big bosses only to be told it had to ship! And treated like dog shit for arguing. For stating that it was all bad! For not listening to him and trying to go over his head.... I  honestly couldn't believe that I still had a job when the lay offs happened. I heard the rumor that he wanted me gone and that he was convincing my boss that I didn't do anything and that I should be gone....

I think he may almost have had him convinced till I found that would in the fondant.. I found out where it was coming from. It was that a part of the ceiling over the fondant plant was finally rotted enough to start dropping pieces into our open top of out sugar and corn syrup feeder. I caught it. Like all the other major shit that is bad there.  I catch the bad weights on the tins and he waits till night shift and then sent it out with out the proper weight in the chocolates. So all these people will be shorted the amount of chocolate they bought.

This company is going to put itself out of business this way, and with him helping. I would swear he's working for a competitor.

 I can't walk away unless I get another job. Jobs are scarce right now.... God help me. It's like being told that you can't talk someone out of doing something wrong when you know there's  a cops right there.

Dragon Mail Box

All Photos are Copyright of : Tashee Photography. UN-AUTHORIZED REPRODUCTION, IN WHOLE OR IN PART, IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED!

Thanks to anyone who voted for Karen and Danny on the OC Tanner contest!

Unfortunately it wasn't enough and they didn't win. But any votes were greatly appreciated!

Please help a friend with cancer have something good..

My friend with cancer is in the running for a 1 million dollar diamond. She needs vote on the OC Tanner Face book page. I'm asking if you have a face book go on the link and Vote for Karen & Danny. Read their story and there should be no doubt why...

Please click this link to OC Tanner and Vote for Karen & Danny

Holiday Decorations

I swore to myself that I would get a decorating piece for Halloween & Christmas every year to build up till I could decorate properly.. Hasn't happened yet. My tree is still the one from my Fiance's sister. Old and still a nice looking hand me down. The ornaments the ones she gave me and a few cheap ones that i bought. I seem to manage a new Christmas stocking every year for the boy, but that's about it. It seems I'm lucky to get my son gifts every year... That and the bills seems more important that my vow to buy a piece a year. But every year I think about it.

This year we're going to make gingerbread cookie and sugar cookie ornaments. I make and color some icing to decorate. Maybe we'll make some popcorn strings with jelly beans, or some other candy in-between. I have  a fondant recipe and a way to make it work like sugar paste. Maybe I'll give that a try and color it with food coloring.... Little flowers that you could eat. That would be fun.

I figure that my son would love to eat straight off the tree. Cheap fun that won't last forever....
A few ideas off the internet...

My Frail Old Angel..

.
-------------------------------------------------------------
One night I had a dream

It left a tale to tell

I dreamed I saw an Angel

Poor thing, he wasn't well

His body was bruised and battered

His wings ripped and torn

I saw that he could barely walk

He looked so tired and worn

I walked right up and asked him

"How could this be?"    

 All Photos are Copyright of : Tashee Photography. (Sonya J Steiner) 

UN-AUTHORIZED REPRODUCTION, IN WHOLE OR

IN PART, IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED!

He turned and paused a bit

These words he spoke to me....



"I am your Gaurdian Angel

A great task as you can see

You've run amok all your life

Look what you've done to me

These bruises are from shielding you

In times of dire ill

The drugs you've used so dangerously

I've paid for you that bill

My wings you see are ripped and torn

A noble badge I bare

So many times they've flown for you

From evils un-aware

Each mark has it's own story

Of deadly wounds destroyed

You've made me wish more times than one

That I was un-employed

If only you could make it

Standing on your own

Please don't fret or worry

You are never left alone

I am here to watch over you

Until my powers fail

But always try to remember

I am getting old and frail"



I could barely believe what I've seen

Let alone how much he cared

I wept on his broad shoulders

And left him in dispair

When I looked in the mirror the next morning

I pondered "why shouldI try?"

Then distantly, I thought I heard

A frail old Angel cry

~Author Unknown~

Angel ~ by Enya
Angel ~ by Sarah McLachlan

Invasive Ductal Carcinoma with Cancerization of the Lobules

I have a friend. Who was diagnosed with 'Invasive Ductal Carcinoma with Cancerization of the Lobules'. I've known her since I was 8 years old and one of my oldest friends.

For the past year the doctors have been testing me for cancer ( The word Leukemia came had come up....) and found Hypothyroidism..  I told everyone I take that readily. Now here sit my friend, with what they scared me with for a year. Being tested for it over and over again because I kept getting sick... She has lost her hair. Is going through Kemo..... Just lost her sister to breast cancer and now this.

She keeps cracking jokes. That used to be my self defense mechanism. Now it seems to be hers. I admire what she has that I've lost in myself and she has it through so much pain. And all I can do is post a song on her facebook and hope she see's it for what it's meant.Martina McBride - I'm going to love you through it . She today said she heard it on the radio and it just made her bawl. In a good way apparently, but I still wonder. When I first posted it she never said a word about it, but is suits her life so well right now. It pretty much matches the man she's with too.

And in all this I am striving to understand why I am struggling through life. Paddling harder  to stay a float every day. And just when it seems I learn how to swim, the world adds more weights on so I go beneath the water again and have to struggle and gasp for breath.

My fears became her reality. It's like god saying, "OK. I'm letting you off the hook but, in exchange, I'm going to give it to one of your oldest friends. To let you see what your prayers let you pass onto someone else."

Karen once gave me a rosary because I was dreaming about drowning. Every night constantly. ~ I was struggling just below the surface and watching the bubbles from my lungs rise above me and break the surface that my fingertips could just barely reach, but with all my struggling for the surface I'd never get there and start to sink lower beneath the surface and start to drown.
The dreams stopped with the gift of the rosary. I still have it. And when I start to struggle in life I hang it above my bed. Apparently it's time to do so again.....

 I'm terrified she now struggles with what might have been my fate except that life said "Nope! I'm not done torturing you yet."

 And do I have the courage to call her or hunt her down? NO, I fear she doesn't want my friendship and don't know what to do or say.

I think about it and I cry. The last time we got together I was in pain. So much pain I was desperately reaching out for someone to listen and she did. She never had the full story of. I had stopped eating. Was starting to stop even drinking...... At that point, I didn't know how to stop existing and I wanted to. But she was there and I couldn't even get her to go have coffee or anything  now that it's her.... She doesn't need, or even perhaps want my support. And I miss my her likes the world. The truth is that when I'm in pain, i have a hard time opening u,p and talking I did when I desperately needed to with her. And now I can't seem to do the same for her.

 More weight... and I slowly get dragged just a bit further under the water. Trying to breath, but only taking in water and letting that precious air out... slipping to the surface that I'm trying so desperately reach.

 Do I sink? Or do I swim...?

Even I can't answer that......

It feels like home.....


Then there's the other thought...

'Maybe this is my preview of what's to be? I still have bad days. Even on the thyroid pills.... '

~God is watching us from a distance....

Lay Off Season is Apon US!

Yup. We're at that time of year where my company starts laying off people. Now the Night Q.A. says she heard one of the night leads telling the other leads that MY boss was tired of me and was getting rid of me. But I also heard that they wanted to get rid of the lead that was rumoring about me too, so who knows. But He also pulled someone in and was talking to them about a Q.A. Position and didn't say anything to me about it. I only found out because she was asking me if it would be worth it. She swears she's only making 8.35$ and hour. Plus  the night Q.A. had heard about it too.
What I don't get is how one of the leads who has been there forever still has a job when she missed so many days and last winter she was late 2 days a week for a month. But I never heard once she was getting the hatchet. I got pulled in the office for my attendance when I was seeking medical treatment too. I got a verbal warning. Now I haven't missed a day since they got my on my thyroid pills, but I'm hearing I'm on the hatchet list. ..? I've got the night Q.A. telling me I can't tell anyone. And all I want to do is go up and ask him face to face. So I'm out of a  job perhaps. I guess I'll look anyway. Just like last year.
I found out that the ceiling was falling into our product and no one else even noticed.I'm the one who see all this stuff, catches all this bad shit. Told them that their stupid new product was chalky and nasty, even went up to argue it with the hirer ups only to be told it's going anyway (Which I now hear it's going to bite them in the ass by the way.).
They kept telling us that the one supervisor was just being given enough room to hang himself with and would be gone soon enough.... he got promoted.  You can't tell me that the whole joint is full of shit. I'm so  tired constantly feeling like an outsider because I'm doing what my boss wants me to do and yet I'm constantly made to feel that I'm not worth shit and they act like I'm not doing anything.
I have to pull samples and send them out to the lab this years too and do part of my bosses paperwork, so of course I'm not going to be able to get around as much.
I was skipping my breaks and killing myself and I've stopped doing that. Cause I'd go to break and I get my butt chewed for going to break. I don't like my break at the same time as the line because they expect me to sit and police them on my break. So of course I don't want to break with them. They expect me to work on my break and nobody else has to. I wish they'd lay me off and the same time I'm terrified they will cause we need the money and I need a raise...
Everyone is out for them selves, but I'm not allowed to be....

Bills, sucky winter hours and how I'm the on who always misses out on my birthday.. Fucking BITES!

I was $500 ahead last month. I held onto it not knowing why.... I found that with my father here and his oxygen maker my power bill it still at 95$, my water bill was almost $70, and instead of only going through 3-4 gallons of milk we're going through 8-12 gallons... instead of 2 dozen eggs a month we just went through 4 in one week. My grocery bill had tripled somehow with one more person and I have no idea what we're going to do with my job going into winter hours..I'll be lucky to see 40 hours a week right now... My other half still doesn't have a job, and if he doesn't get a part time job on the weekends, we could be totally screwed.. I guess our son should be happy to get the t gift I already got him, and we adults won't be getting shit... and once again, there will be no money to get me anything for my birthday again this year and I'm the only one who went with out last year and it's looking to be that way again this year. I got my other half that awesome radio for his truck.. and I'll be shit out of luck for my birthday like usual.At least my son will have something.

Little by little

Little by little. My friend K had Chemo yesterday, and I went and visited V yesterday morning. I just lied to the dentist and said it was this morning. It's snowed last night and everybody's health is making me exhausted. Then we got to have over a nephew who's mentally challenged and they decided to take him off his meds at some point and I didn't know. The mood swings are fantastic!
Have you ever watched 'Letter to God'? Wrong choice of movies last night. I cried at the end.
Oh yeah, it's still snowing... Winters never been the same with Hypothyroidism. You  get cold fast and a chill you can't get rid of easily.
I still need to go grocery shopping for Thanks Giving... And being in the stores this time of year is terrible.

Plus i need to do the bills first.. this is going to suck...

In need of healing..

I have a friend going through breast cancer right now. My father's still healing from his health issues. Now My good friends mother (who was like a mom to me) is in the hospital. As always, I have another friend who's husband is in poor health, not to mention her own... Been thinking about everyone a lot lately. We're getting older. You sit and wonder how you will be able to survive life yourself if they're  missing from it....?

So to all of them...
That's what I'm here for

What the Hell?

Did my job and more than normal today, Even got the GMP's done. And along comes my boss giving me shit cause he supposedly searched the whole plant for me... I shook my head at him. He said it was about ten to three.. I went on break I told him. He then asked what happened to going with everyone else? I said the first wave went and then I went thinking the rest were going and they didn't, and I had to write someone up for having a tongue ring in. He demanded to know who had one in. I said I have on way of knowing when they're actually going to go to break or not. I have no idea what his problem was, but I didn't deserve to be the target on this. All because he wanted to show me a trailer that wasn't even getting unloaded tonight anyway.... It's that time of year where people are always pointing the finger at anyone else cause it's lay off time and they want to get everyone else in as much trouble as they can to protect their jobs....etc etc.. It's not my fault they have me writing down every little indiscretion everyone does... If I don't write anything down, they'll know I'm full of shit! I know they're trying to get me in trouble. They always are. I know one it the shift co-ordinater and the other if that fucking lead.... They'll do anything to tarnish someone else and make themselves look better.

Socially Acceptable

1. When  in society did it become socially acceptable to wear you pants at half mass?

2. Have you realized it's gotten hard, with the invention of cell phones, to tell the crazy lunatics from someone who walking down the street with their hands free unit on screaming at someone?

"I am the White Snow Queen!"

Yes... I know how that sounds, but I'm not  delusional. .... in case you're wondering.
I was at work, working in the cold warehouse with some temps doing some rework. When all of a sudden...... POOF! A white fog was blooming from the sugar silo next to us. . Now I've always had this fear of that silo giving way while I'm around it. I don't know why. But I happen to know they fill it more than the max fill,,, Hence the paranoia. So according to one of the guys  in the warehouse, all you could see was me out running the plume of sugar. Heals and ass all the way! I get to the doorway to realize my temps are just standing in the the warehouse and not moving, so I stop holding my breath and yell, 'Get out of there! Move move move! " They finally start moving. I get them out, but got a lung full of sugar in the process. As we come running out. It caused panic in the next room and they ran out thinking it was a fire. So I ran into the production office and made the following page "Maintenance! Get to the sugar Silo NOW! Maintenance to the sugar silo!" One of the supervisors ran in to hit the  Emergency shut off. Dumb ass. it could have been anything. And apparently the the emergency shut off is right under the fucking silo. For real! There's a brilliant move right there. So after  a bunch of guys were called in to clean, I realize I should tell my boss. So give him a call in his office. And do you know what he said? "Please tell me I'm not the first person you called?" I was a bit hurt by that question and said "Actually, you were the last person I notified. I called for maintenance first." There was some sarcasm to that and defense too.
There was about an inch of sugar on the floor. IT WAS EVERYWHERE! the guys were making crack as I walked in. One went "Who do you think you are causing this mess.
My retort was "I am The White Snow Queen!" I snapped my fingers and did the whole cocky head thing.
I must admit they were stunned into silence, since I'm usually so serious at work, then bust out laughing.
The whole white powder jokes went on from there. .. People kept asking if I was in there. I said "YEAH!" They said my eyelashes were stark white from the sugar. with in an hour there was a whole different  issue. I was covered in sugar, which when your body is covered in, becomes very sticky!. It was about 10 Am when this went on. I didn't get home till 6:30 pm....

Grow UP!

So my father asked me to tell my older brother he needs to move. So I did. as my little brother put it, it did go a little too well. Cause today, my older brother was trying to convince my little brother that I was taking my mothers checks and paying my mortgage with it. My little brother basically told him he was full of crap because the V.A. is watching my mother account and that  they would know by now. Because when a check made out to my older brother went through for about $900 they wanted to know if he stole moms checks. Pop said he gave him the check to put in a dishwasher. the dishwasher was only a $400 dishwasher.... guess who got the rest?

But he's trying to convince people I, and I don't even live there, am stealing checks....

I work in a Chocolate Factory - And there Ain't no Opmpa Loompa's! Part 2

Yup I'm back.
We're having a hold put on a bunch of ingredients because an lab test came back too high to meet the standards of a certain store. That should tell you that it's bad right? So I put all these ingredients on hold for the lot #'s  on them being used in these said chocolates that came back bad. So it turns out that we don't have any other lot number on a certain ingredient. They called my boss and he said to use it then, just open a new container. Come on! Really?! Seriously! What is the point of Q.A. if we put it on hold just to use it anyway cause we don't have anymore? Hell, we should just cover a dog turd and send it out.

So, What do you think? If they set up standards for a store that we have to meet, shouldn't we be a little more concerned about things staying on hold till we get the results back?

John Steiner... My brother the budding Author!

Yup! My brother is getting a few books published! Y'all should check it out!!!!!

John Steiner - Squad V

SLCC Tutor realizes his dream!

And he's using my photos (Tashee Photography) for the Author photo and interviews!!!!

All Photos are Copyright of :
Tashee Photography _Sonya J Steiner
UN-AUTHORIZED REPRODUCTION,
IN WHOLE OR IN PART,
IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED!

I work in a Chocolate Factory - And there Ain't no Opmpa Loompa's!

I've seen things that would turn you away from chocolate forever....!

Q.A. I am no less. I swear it's more about quantity than quality! I don't care what they tell us everyday! Instead of being listened to about us putting out crap, I'm shunned and treated like a second rate citizen. The ugly red headed step child..... Then when something goes wrong, the first person they go to is me! Even though they are the ones who ran it that way anyway! Getting the big boss and going over my head. Go figure they can't keep up with the big boys and are barely holding one. I have hated this job since I started. But with the way things are, I can't up and quite. I need money. I've never hated a job like this... EVER!
Where's Willy Wonka when you need him?!

Potty Training.....

• So I have this friend named Gerry. He had this nephew who would only pee out side. it was the only way they could get him potty trained too.
• So one day Gerry and his brother were sitting in the kitchen chatting and they all of a sudden heard this BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM!
• They went running out to his nephew who had his pants around his ankles and was looking straight down at his pee pee, completely horrified!
• The two of them looked down to see what was wrong , and as they look down they see that a grasshopper had landed on his pee pee...
• And you you know what a grasshopper does when you try to pull them off right? They latch on harder!
• To this day, his nephew will no longer pee out side anymore...
• Now my little boy is about done potty training... but we only got him going good because he likes to pee outside. And this is all I can think of every time he does... I'm waiting for the day... LOL

Hypothyroidism

So for the 3rd time this year, I was tested for cancer (and several other things as well I'm sure, but that is the main one) . This time they came back with Hypothyroidism. I match a lot of the symptoms, but they symptoms also come with severe allergies, which the doctor and I have been thinking that that's what it is.
SO on a pill to replace my thyroid hormone now. This has been one week now.
There is a side effect or two to the replacement though. - Stomach aches & Headaches... (Rare they said). That's was a load of horse shit. Cause every time I hear someone taking the meds, they all got it! Including me. Now they had ebbed up a bit since I started taking the pill, but I still have it. The first night it felt like someone hit me in the head with a hammer, and was trying to rip my stomach apart.
Now it's the wait and see game. i go back in about 11 weeks to see how things are going.


I know my sister has it. Now I find out that an Aunt on my dads side has it.
Did you know that you get an increased chance of getting it after you have a kid?
I have a friend that has it and now she has also been diagnosed with breast cancer.... Makes you think doesn't it? what if that's next? They've check 3 times now...... Some spookie shit.

Hypothyroidism

Fatigue... oh hell yeah... Check
Sluggishness.. check
Loss of hair 
weight gain too.. check.. lost all that friggen weight to just get it back!
Pale, dry skin...Check
A puffy face.....Check
Hoarse voice....Check Check!
Fatigue...Check
Sluggishness....CHeck
Increased sensitivity to cold...not sure.. yeah last winter kinda harsh.. Check
Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness......Oh fuck yeah! I mean Check
Pain, stiffness or swelling in your joints... Check
Muscle weakness.. sometimes check
Brittle fingernails... check


Myxedema coma,
The most severe form of hypothyroidism, is rare. It may be caused by an infection, illness, exposure to cold, or certain medications in people with untreated hypothyroidism.

Symptoms and signs of myxedema coma include:

Below normal temperature .....Check
Decreased breathing...... Check
Low blood pressure.... Check
Low blood sugar.......Check

Canyon Inn - Utah

 Canyon Inn - Utah

(This is a Mormon Monopoly State....)

This is a mural on a cement retaining wall. It can't be seen from the road. Only from a ski shop next door, or the parking lot of the Inn. But it's made the news here in Utah. Not for the police car the had 'Corrupt ones' on the license plate. Not for the scantly clad woman on it. But for the Mormon Temple burning. Well, we had a Mormon Temple burn down recently, but they are up in arms about it on this mural.

It even Had

"Don't Drink & Drive!"
on it...

It's just a Mural...... Get over it.

~

Coffee!

That decadent substance that allows us to energize, get perky, and just plain WAKE UP!

Kids & Parents say the darnedest things....!

So Ray Ray, our 3 year old son,  was in the tub and Ray could hear him grunting. Ray yelled to see what he was doing. Ray Ray told him to "Go away!" So Ray Yelled back, and god knows why, "Are you spanking MR Winky?" as he went to go check on him. Ray Ray yelled back "No! I'm making a Stinky!" Sure enough Ray com around the corner to see little  Ray Ray grunting on his potty making a stinky.

Allergy Time

      Oh yeah! It's that time of year again. Last year I learned that allergies can make you lose your voice on top of making you sick, runny noise, head ache, fever, go into shock... You know. All that lovely stuff we enjoy sooo much. Well This year, I not only lost my voice, but i can't seem to get it back. I sound like someone who's smoked for a 100 years or something. That is when it's not making me sound like a young boy going through puberty. So I had also acquired pneumonia this year at the same time. I sounded so awful, even after going to the doctor, that my boss sent me home with in an hour and a half of going to work. The next day when I contacted him to ask how long I had been 'banished' for, he informed me that he wanted a note from my doctor saying it was 'OK' for me to be working.this was easier said than done. Monday I had gone to the doctor, Tuesday was the day he sent me home, so Wednesday was the day he wanted the note. My doctor happens to have every Wednesday off. So I couldn't call them till Thursday and they didn't get back to me till Friday. I missed the whole week of work.

 When I finally got the note and went back to work the following monday, he asked how I was doing. I said much better, which I was after being on antibiotics for a week. He looked at me not believing me. I looked at him and said. "I was flat out told it's allergies. There's nothing I can do about it." But in all this the doc tells me to take double what I normally take for my allergies. Well as it is, I already take the maximum dose you can take over the counter with out a prescription. So I asked the doc to write a prescription so I could buy 2 boxes at the same time. He did. The pharmacy said it doesn't work that way. I said call the doctor and get it fixed. Getting it fixed turned into a 137$ prescription of Allegra that can be bought over the counter for 20$. I don't get that AT ALL!. ti's exactly the same thing. Well insurance paid for it, thank god, and I now have my double dose. But not before my allergies came to a horrible climax of a migraine, no voice, tiredness, sick, and a mood that went with that to match all MOODS!

My son decided to have a tantrum about coming in the house when we got back to the house before they filled my prescription and while I was at the height of my migraine induced attitude. I had managed to keep my cool till this point they I finally lost it at my sons tantrum. I screamed at him "GO TO YOU"RE FUCKING ROOM!" I don't swear at my son. I never do. Then Ray asked "Is he having an attitude? : I yelled at him too. "NO! I AM! I got stuck in on 5400 for the last hour because of a car wreck, I have a migraine, and they screwed up my prescription yet again!" Now it was kinda his fault I got stuck behind the accident. He told me he was working late then it turned out he was home right after I had picked up the boy. Basically he didn't want to pick up the boy and lied to me about working late. So I picked  up the boy, backtracked to the store and ended up stuck on the road not moving for an hour because of his lie and an accident..
Then I still had to go to the new pharmacy where I had my prescription sent because the other one wouldn't take my insurance. I get there and after I had talked to them an hour earlier they still hadn't filled the prescription. So I wanted to rip the woman's head off, but managed not to. I got home, took my pill and went to bed. It was all I could do because my migraine was to such a point I was unable to anything else.
Now I'm double dosing to survive the end of my allergy season......

Such is Life!..........

We've developed a leak in our roof. Something to do with the water to the swamp cooler Ray says. I'm hoping that's it.
The Hot water heater periodically shuts off and it takes us hours to relight the pilot light. We don't know why. It's from 1999. I suspect the we're going to need to replace it. Probably when we don't have any money.

"Winter Why's?"

     I should be in the joy's of life, instead I'm stuck in my 'Winter Why's?'
As in,
Why is this happening to me?
Why, no matter how hard I try, can't I change it?
Why am I letting them make me so unhappy?
Why can't the snow melt, so I can go where I can best deal with life?
Why can't the mountains and canyons be closer and easier to get to?
Why can't it be about me for once?
Why doesn't it feel like he loves me?
Why doesn't he think about me ahead of himself?
Why do things have to be so hard... all the time?
Why can't I just be happy?
Why?

Potty Training Incentives...

So my fiance' and I have been bouncing ideas on potty training incentives back and forth. We came up with getting a Gumball/Candy machine that he can earn money each time he goes potty to use to get candy from the machine. He loves M&M's and Hershy's Kisses. So we were looking at all these toy machine that took money, but they all would give him candy with out putting money in too. The idea is to make him earn the treat, not let him sneak free candy. 

I happened apon an add on KSL for a REAL machine for the price of one of the toy machines I was looking for. I called, talked to the gentleman and I bought it after seeing it was BRAND NEW STILL IN THE BOX. It only takes quarters, but you can adjust how much candy comes out of the machine. You could even put in nuts and healthy choices (that wouldn't gum up the machine).

I'm enclosing the add for the  $35 vending machines KLS ad for $35 Gumball/Candy Vending Machine.

It's one hell of  a deal if you ask me... And a fun idea that teaches your kids to go potty and the value of earning money.

The Lovely Little Religeous & Political views of Utah..... Honestly People, Really?!

    So our lovely little state is trying to sneak yet another removal of alcohol out of the our convenience stores. First it was the malt whine and beverages, now they're trying to take out beer all together from them. Honestly people! Really?! They trying to close all the liquor stores by 5 pm. At least the ones they're not closing.  Now if pretty much 80% of  adult Utahans drink, and 60% plus of the state is Mormon, who are they trying to kid?
Basically a few uptight sphincter talking Hitler wannabes are trying to control everyone else. Just like trying to slip in their little abortion issues that would take away the right of women to have an abortion if it threatens their life, if they were raped, and all the other little lovely things that ain't none of their self important, hypocritical asses think they have say on.

I'm Pro Alcohol & I'm Pro Choice!
I don't run off and drink every day, every weekend, or even monthly, but I sure as hell don't think they have the right to control it if I do.
 

I don't run off and have  abortions, and I have NEVER had one, but I sure as hell am not going to tell someone else they can't. If a man can beat a woman till she loses her child when she's 9 months along, and they don't consider that MURDER, how the hell can you say a woman having an abortion with in the first trimester is?

They just let some child molester who , by the way, refused a second opinion when it was wanted, go out to walk to streets because he's supposedly incompetent to stand trial. Now he's free to go abuse other children. Isn't that nice?  If he's too incompetent to stand trial, he should damn well be too incompetent to be loose on the streets.

Our government can't agree on spending for the government, but they want to tell us how to live our lives? If they can't do their job to run the country properly, I sure as shit don't want them to try and tell me how to run my life properly. I run my house hold budget a hell of a lot better than they run the budget of our country.
I wear patched clothing, hand me down, donated clothing, simply because after keeping my bills paid and food on our table, I can't afford clothing for myself. I take of my son, his father, and by the time It comes to getting me things I need, there's nothing left. Maybe they should cut  their paycheck, drive their own cars instead of us buying cars for them to drive, ...... Let them have to survive on what we do and see how they like it. They , when  and if you do qualify for help, some one comes along and cuts it off?!
Up till 2 years ago, I've been the taxpayer paying for all these things for other people, but the moment I need help the answer is I don't qualify or it's so little help you wonder why you bother with all the hassle and paperwork?

Oh yeah, and TOTALLY for kicking all the illegal immigrants right the hell off our help list at this point, because if I can't get help for myself because we're so busy helping criminals who snuck into this country illegally, You damn right I have no pity at this point. I sit and listen to a bunch of foreigner telling each other at my work how to get around all this shit and get stuff they don't qualify for either. So they drive nice sports cars and trucks, while I'm killing myself to get by.....
I totally jumped for joy when over a dozen of them got caught by the E-Verify with their illegal social security cards. We now actually have Americans getting jobs in our factory.
Yes I'm ranting. Those of us who are legally in the U.S. or born here are getting screwed because of the ones who aren't. We'd be able to get the help WE need if we weren't so busy looking away on illegal immigrants and handing out food, money, housing, and health care.

And then I hear them all saying how American sucks! GO THE FUCK HOME THEN! Sneak you ass right  the hell back out of our boarders!
OK, enough said for the moment.

Monumental Moment!

My son, fell asleep in his Big Boy Underwear, woke up DRY in his Big Boy Underwear, and then went potty with peeing in his Big Boy Underwear!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kids....

Ever notice that the medicine taste good till they start feeling better?

      "I thought you like your medicine?" I said as he made  a face.
      "I don't like it! Kuckie!"

Ever notice that they want to be 'Big Boys' till the potty training begin?

      "You don't want to wear baby panties do you? Don't you want to wear big boy underwear?" I asked
      "No! I want to wear Panties!" He yells grabbing a pull-up.

Ever notice the moment you pass a Mc Donalds....?

     "Mommy! Happy Meal!"

Ever notice when you ask your child to do something?

     "I can't!"

 And when they're in trouble?.....

      "I got an owie mommy!"

     "I'm tired mommy...."

     "NO!"

 When you tell them to do something you thought was put in a way they could understand, you find out they took it a bit TOO literal...

     So I walked into the bathroom and find, then my two year old, taking poop out of his diaper and putting in the potty (with his hands).
"Look Mommy! I put the poop in the Potty!" Big smiles...

And the latest and greatest horrifying thing my child is doing....

We have seen a few mice running through the house as of late. We have a crawl space under the house, and decided the best course of action was to poison under the house where it couldn't be found by our 3 year old. Well a week went by, and a smell came about the house, letting us know that the poison was working. Well about two weeks in my little boy cam running in from the back room with a DEAD MOUSE in his hand.

"It's dead mommy.." he said handing me this freshly, dead mouse.

I flushed the critter down the toilet while he wasn't looking. i then quickly made my son wash his hands.

"Where's the mouse?" He asked looking around, and then looking suspiciously at the toilet I had flushed behind his back.

"I put him outside." I said. 

"I want to see. Let's go get the mouse Mommy." He says heading for the door.

"No honey. He's an outside mouse. He had to go outside."

 There were two reason for this. He was kind of upset about the mouse being dead. And the second, I didn't want him to get the idea of flushing things down the toilet. It's something he hasn't done as a child yet. I'd like to keep it this way.
 He has now found a total of 3 dead mice and  has brought them to me. I do a daily check for the mice, but he always seems to find them before I do.....

 And on that note, I'll let you ponder the lovely little things that your children do. Smile and laugh where they can't see you. I know it's hard.